Three Tips for Busy Parents Planning a Date Night

It can be hard to find time to be with your spouse when you have kids, but that time is so important. Take the time to plan a fun date night with your significant other. Your relationship will thank you, and your kids will have better parents because of it.

Keep It Simple

You don't have to spend a fortune, get dressed up in fancy clothes, or go to a special event to have a great date night. In fact, all of those things can distract from the quality time you want to spend with your partner. Instead, choose a date night activity that will be relaxing and will allow you to chat and reconnect with your partner. One easy choice is a local restaurant or bar where you can talk, eat, and drink. For example, you can find a pub La Grange IL like Kenny's Pub, sit back, relax, and have a great time with the one you love, all without dressing up or traveling far away.

Find a Sitter That You Trust

Nothing ruins a date night faster than worrying about your kids the whole time that you're gone. Stop worrying and find a babysitter that you can truly trust when it's time to go out. A family member could be ideal, but be sure not to take them for granted. Offer to pay them for their services or to do something to help them out. If you know other young parents, perhaps you can arrange a babysitting exchange where you and your spouse watch their kids when they go out, and they watch your kids when you go out. Or, you may have more luck by looking at a professional service to find a sitter that you know is qualified. Any sitter should have training in CPR and should know what to do in case of an emergency. Try to stick with the same sitter once you find one that you like.

Practice Regularly

It can be hard for parents when they first go out on a date night. The easiest solution to this is to start early and make it a habit. Once you start having fun, you will probably want to make it a regular feature in your life. Consider adding weekly (or at least monthly) dates to your routine and your marriage will surely benefit. Plus, you'll get to have fun as a couple!

Win a One Year Subscription to iparent.tv - Giveaway!

What is iparent.tv?

If your kids are awake, they’re probably on a smartphone, in front of a smart tv, downloading apps, or posting to social networks - and most likely you have no idea what they’re doing.

• 80% of parents have no idea how to monitor their kid’s online activities 
• 74% of parents say they do not have the time or energy to keep up with their children online
• 62% of parents don't think their teens can get into serious trouble online

If any of those describe you, then iparent.tv might be just what you need to help keep your kids safe.  Set to launch in June 2014, iparent.tv will be a subscription-based site for parents that will include hundreds of videos, reviews, and  how-tos that are current, cutting-edge, and trending, keeping subscribers ahead of the tech curve  - and ahead of their own kids, or at least right along with their kids in understanding technology and what's going on online.  It will be the largest site on the net helping parents understand tech, what's safe, what’s not, and what's age-appropriate.  You'll get articles, news, and information on what’s new in the world of tech and how it affects your family.  There will be ratings, rankings on which platforms are safe for kids, and age ranges so you know if a site is safe for your children.

You'll get articles, videos, reviews, tips, tools and expert advice on EVERYTHING like…

• Popular Apps
• Social Network Sites
• Major Websites
• Top Devices ... and more.

Learn more about iparent.tv and the people behind it:

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My kids are all grown up, but I certainly could have used something like this, even though I like to believe that I'm more tech savvy than some other parents I know.  Currently iparent.tv is in pre-launch, raising funds through indiegogo and offering some really good perks for your contributions.  A regular one-year subscription will be $49, but you can contribute through indiegogo right now, and get that same membership for only $29.  Not only that, but you will have access to iparent.tv before the general public.  There are also some other options you'll want to check out, including a 2 years for the price of 1 subscription and a lifetime subscription.  Visit the iparent.tv fundraising page to get started.

Now for the Giveaway:  One reader will receive a one-year subscription to iparent.tv ($49 value)
To enter:  Leave a comment telling me what you think will be the best part about iparent.tv or something you're looking forward to learning more about through the site.
Additional entries: Tweet about this giveaway, share on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, or other social media; be sure to include a link back to this post and the hashtag #iparenttv (once per day per social media site)  Be sure to leave a comment for each tweet or share.

Giveaway is open to U.S. residents, and all entries must be received by 11:59pm Eastern time on Friday March 14, 2014.  Good luck!

Each household is only eligible to win One (1) Subscription to iparent.tv via blog reviews and giveaways. Only one entrant per mailing address per giveaway. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you will not be eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.

Related articles

• iparent.tv Subscription Giveaway #iparenttv
• Know What Your Children Are Doing Online - iParent.tv One Year Subscription GIVEAWAY!

Summer Vacation Can Be Deadly

A friend posted this on Facebook today, and I thought it was definitely worth a share - especially since school is about over for the year, and many of us will have young people with some extra time on their hands.

Summer vacation can be deadly.

A survey completed by the Love and Logic Institute found 75 percent of American adults believe teenagers today face more serious, potentially life-threatening decisions than a generation ago. These decisions, combined with a strong dose of hormones and the vacations and parties that come with summer, can challenge the most sensible teenagers. Fortunately, there are some simple, time-tested tips for parents who want their teens to make cool decisions as the weather gets warmer.

Tip #1: Don't fall into the trap of thinking teens no longer need their parents.

Because their adolescents are becoming more independent, many parents believe it's okay to leave them without supervision for hours on end. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Wise parents understand this, and they recognize teens need a watchful, yet friendly eye.

Tip #2: Set enforceable limits.

Teens need and want limits. However, instead of telling your teen what they should do, experiment with telling them what you will do or what you will allow. Instead of, "Be home on time," experiment with something like, "I share the car keys with those who come home on time." Instead of, "Don't hang out with Steve. He's trouble," try, "Feel free to see Steve when I know there is adult supervision."

Tip #3: Hold them accountable with empathy and logical consequences.

Parents who provide consequences with anger create teens that think, "When I make poor decisions, it makes others really mad. I better not get caught." Parents who replace anger with a genuine dose of empathy or sadness raise teens who know, "When I make poor decisions it makes my life really sad. For my sake, I'd better make wise ones!"

Tip #4: When you are too angry or worried to think - delay the consequence.

If your teen does something that throws you off balance, buy some time by saying, "I'm going to have to do something about this. But not now …later…try not to worry." Take some time to calm down and get some ideas from friends.

Every day, parents around the world are finding their lives made easier with these tips. One parent commented, "I came home from work to find my 16-year-old daughter and six of her friends had scattered pizza, chips, and dip all over my new carpet! I was furious. Luckily, I remembered the advice from Love and Logic and how to delay consequences. All I managed to say was, 'I'd better calm down first. We'll talk later. Try not to worry.' By the next day, she already had a good plan for selling enough of her things to hire some carpet cleaners!"

Our audio CD, Hormones & Wheels, includes plenty of ideas for setting enforceable limits, providing effective consequences, and dealing with other common challenges that arise during the teenage years.

Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.

Dr. Charles Fay

Love and Logic® provides simple solutions and practical techniques to help parents with kids of all ages.

Common Courtesy

Another one of those things I failed to teach.

Or at least half failed.



Should I really have to constantly ask, "Where are you going?"  "When will you be back?"  "Will you be back?"

So I don't ask.  Common courtesy says when you live with other people, you keep them informed, if not about where you'll be, at least when or if you'll be back.  Doesn't it?  And, yes, parents are people too.  Treating them as less than does not prove that you're an adult.

Parenting Resources

Parenting is one of those things that is so important, but it's something you have to learn as you go.  You pretty much get it figured out by the time your kids are all grown up!  Or at least you get to sit back and watch your own kids get what they deserve when their own kids put them through the same things they did to you!  Oh, payback!

Of course, the more resources a parent has, the better.  Books, friends, family, websites - there are lots of resources out there.  The trick is to find the ones that will work for you and your family. 

I've been checking out this site called EverydayFamily that offers resources from preconception to preschool and beyond.  Parents can get expert advice and read helpful articles on everything from pregnancy symptoms to baby milestones and beyond and get tips and weekly development newsletters, and even sign up for rewards programs and enter Sweepstakes to win prizes.

I noticed that Beth liked EverydayFamily on facebook, so hopefully she's getting some good tips and information about taking care of her little guy.  He's a precious one.  Maybe she really deserves an ornery brat, but it will be better for all of us, and Jason, if he's got an informed mommy who can take good care of him.  If you're looking for parenting resources, be sure to check out EverydayFamily.

The Funny, Broken, Love of Parenting

Guest post by Jennifer Grant, author of MOMumental: Adventures in the Messy Art of Raising a Family

---

I click open a Facebook message. A friend has sent me a word search and tells me to let my eyes fall onto the image and take note of the first three words that I see. These are the words that best describe me, she promises.

I shrug, take a sip of coffee, and glance at it. “Funny,” “broken,” and “love” are my words.

When I close the message, I’m tempted for a moment to try again. What other words are hidden in that tangle of letters? Maybe on my second try, my eyes will land on a combination such as “smart,” “attractive,” and “successful.” (That would be nice.)

I don’t give it another try, though. The words I read the first time are just right considering how I’ve been spending my days for the past several months, thinking and writing about the family in which I am the wife and the mother and about my family of origin, where my story began.

Funny, broken, love - sounds like family.

MOMumental: Adventures in the Messy Art of Raising a Family is about my own missteps and small victories as a mother. Over the years, after beginning my parenting journey – as so many of us do – staggering under the weight of the expectations I had for myself, I’ve loosened up. I’ve come to learn that none of us is perfect. We all fail, misunderstand our kids sometimes, and mess up in countless ways. In MOMumental, I share stories of some of my “epic fails” as a mom.

The dire messages that flash on the computer or television screen that warn what a mother absolutely must or must not do no longer hold me tightly in their grasp. I now look at myself – and at other mothers – with less judgment, knowing that we all work it out, there is no manual for motherhood, and that the most important thing in raising kids is to be authentically connected with them.

(And a person can do that whether she serves microwaved macaroni and cheese to her kids for lunch every day or gives them homemade bread and a sampling of organic greens from her vegetable garden. Whether or not she homeschools them, uses “the family bed,” or exposes them to Mozart by the time they are six days old.)

I hope in sharing my own personal – and often quite cringe-worthy – story in MOMumental, other parents will show themselves, and other parents, more grace as we raise our children.

To me, those three words – funny, broken, and love – are great ones to reflect on when I think about the gift of family. To be able to enjoy our kids, repair our relationships with them when needed, and most of all to love our children like crazy covers a multitude of parental crimes and misdemeanors.

Wishing you all the best in your own messy family-making adventures!

---

Book Review: MOMumental

MOMumental: Adventures in the Messy Art of Raising a Family
by Jennifer Grant

About this book:

Celebrating the joyous art of being a mother, MOMumental offers an inspiring, honest, and infectiously humorous look at the perils and pleasures of raising a family in the real world.

Once a devout believer in the myth of the perfect mother, author Jennifer Grant now has a more realistic yet still upbeat view of parenting and families. Instead of focusing on creating a conflict-free home, raising picture-perfect kids, and being an ideal mother, Grant offers a wiser and more down-to-earth way to love your children that makes room for mistakes and imperfections. She says, "I share stories about family life and how I've come to appreciate the mess of it. I am grateful for my own happy, idiosyncratic, and imperfect family."

MOMumental is one mother's account of the unpredictable, creative, sometimes hilarious, and always rewarding process of raising a family. It's filled with funny and poignant stories from her everyday life--a life that mothers everywhere can identify with.

I very much enjoyed this book.  We live in a culture that puts unfair pressure on moms to do everything exactly right - or we as moms put that pressure on ourselves.  We grow up with our own ideas of family and parenthood, how it's supposed to be, how we want ours to be, how our kids and our house is always going to be perfect, etc.  And then, when it doesn't happen that way, we think we're failures.

Sharing stories from her own background and family life, Jennifer Grant shows in a very real way that being a mom is never what you might expect - and that's OK.  No mom is perfect, and what matters is what we do most of the time and learning to relax and connect with, accept, cherish and enjoy our kids.

My kids are pretty much grown now, but I can always stand to be reminded that things are never going to be perfect.  Actually, I'm reminded of that often, what I need is to be reminded that imperfection isn't always a bad thing.  For moms with babies and young children, I would definitely recommend this book.  It's not a how-to kind of parenting book that will teach you how to be a great mom, but it is a book that will leave moms with the knowledge that they are not alone.  Other moms have gone through and done the same things - and their kids turned out OK.

You can read the first chapter of MOMumental now, and the book is available now on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.   Look for a guest post from author Jennifer Grant and a chance to win your own MOMumental Book in the next few days.

Note: I received a free copy of MOMumental for review from Worthy Publishing.  All opinions are 100% mine.

Tips for Parents - Coping with Winter Break

Cory will be coming home for Winter Break this weekend. He would be home tonight because his last final is over at 5, but he has to be there tomorrow for auditions - so we'll go get him tomorrow evening. When I got the following article in an email today, I thought the timing could not be more perfect.  I'm pretty sure it was planned that way!

If you've got a college student coming home for Winter Break, perhaps some of these tips will be helpful for you, too.

Tips for parents – coping with your child’s return from college for winter break

By Dean Tsouvalas, Editor in Chief of StudentAdvisor.com

As the fall semester draws to a close and freshman students deal with the stress of finals for the first time, parents everywhere are looking forward to their kids coming back home for an extended stay for the holidays. But as any parent that has celebrated their own child’s return can tell you, the scene may not be as idyllic as you’ve imagined.

We’ve got some tips for parents to help keep this happy time happy for everyone.

Be realistic with the rules – Your child has likely lived without rules about curfews, phone usage, Internet and TV restrictions (and more) for the last few months. Thinking of suggesting the same rules that applied when they were in high school? Expect that to go over like a lead balloon. Instead, have a discussion with your child when they first return home (before they head out to see their friends) and be prepared to compromise. Do your best to let go of parenting patterns that don't work with a fellow adult. If you tell your child what to do, nag him about his appearance, or do his household jobs for him, you are setting him up to fall back into a child-like role and childish behavior

Carve out some time – Your child is more than likely looking forward to connecting with their hometown friends as much (if not more) than they are looking forward to seeing you while on break. The best way to ensure that you get some quality time with your son/daughter? Make a “date”! Plan in advance to take them out for coffee, out to dinner – even to the mall to return the gifts they didn’t love. By planning in advance, you’re showing your kid that spending time with them is a high priority – and it will remind them to make it a priority for themselves, too.

Let’s all let loose – Think back to your first year in college, and how “adult” you felt. Know that your child is feeling the same way! You’re both entering the next phase in your relationship – when you can start to relate as adults. Now is a great time to let loose… a little bit. Share some stories about yourself at that age (edit where necessary), don’t freak out when they talk about being out till 3 am - now that your kid is out of the house and grown, you can be a bit “cooler.” All within reason, of course! (No need to be Dina Lohan).

Prime for a refresher – While being “cool” has its advantages, you are still (of course) first and foremost a parent. The things that worry you most – are they eating well? Getting enough sleep? Keeping out of trouble? – are going to keep worrying you, no matter how old your child gets. Your son/daughter will be more relaxed on break than they have been all semester, so now is a great time to do a little digging. Talk about your recent health kick and the healthy things you’ve been eating, how you read that getting less than 8 hours of sleep can be bad for your health, etc. By making the focus on YOU, you’re leading by example and can draw your child into talking about the things that concern you without seeming like “a nag.”

Be gentle with your spouse. Having grown children at home can increase the frequency of arguments among married couples, especially over finances and chores -- the very issues that you may not be discussing openly with your kid.
With everything else you have on your plate this holiday season, no one needs the stress or hassle of fighting with their kids. Take time to step back and admire the wonderful child you’ve raised!

Bad Parenting

I saw this on someone's Facebook profile. Maybe you've seen it before, but I hadn't.

This is not funny, but then again...


...all those little things you have to think of when you've got kids, things you never had to think about before. And sometimes you don't think of them until it's too late. the parenting manual needs to be better written, don't you think?

For Parents of Teenagers

Following a reply and a link or two the other day, I came across this site, Parenting My Teen. When I first started really using this blog, I wanted to have a place for all the various parenting resources I found around the Internet. There is so much information out there, but sometimes it's hard to find exactly the thing you are looking for. Then, sometimes I find something I think I can really use - and I forget to bookmark it or save it in any way. Sometimes, I never find those things again. This list of Parenting Articles is one of those things. I found it the other day, and I thought there was some very useful stuff here. I was particularly interested in the article on teen curfew because that was one of the issues that started me searching for resources in the first place. We still haven't gotten that completely figured out, so hopefully this can help.

Of course, the other day when I found these articles, I ended up closing my browser without saving it. Luckily I found my way back this evening, and I'm not losing it again. I'm posting it safely here in my blog where I can find it in the future, and if it helps you too, then that's even better.

Parent Hacks

I was browsing again - this time on Scribble on the Wall - and found a link to a site called Parent Hacks. What is it? I'll let them explain:

We parents rely on each other for quick, practical advice. Books and magazines are fine, but the real-world perspective of one’s friend, sister, neighbor, or the friend of one’s sister’s neighbor, is often the most helpful.

Parent Hacks is a collaborative website that collects and publishes parents’ tips, recommendations, workarounds, and bits of wisdom – their hacks – in a single pot so we can all partake. Here’s the stuff that would have been left out of the instruction manual...if there were one.

So, if you're looking for a tip or two, or if you have something to share, head on over there.