Friday, December 10, 2010

Stupid Instructions

Found in Reader's Digest:
Stupid instruction labels on products, collected by word-smith Richard Lederer:
  • On a camera: This camera only works when there is film inside.
  • On a package of airline peanuts: Open packet and eat contents.
  • On a chain saw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
  • On a mirror for a bicycle helmet: Remember - objects in the mirror are actually behind you.
  • On a bottle of flavored-milk drink: After opening, keep upright.
  • On a steering-wheel-lock: Warning - remove lock before driving.
I suppose the camera one was pre-digital - before the camera started telling you there's no memory card and refusing to take a picture without one.  Imagine going on vacation, taking a bunch of pictures, and then getting home only to find out you'd forgotten to put film in the camera.  Of course, they needed to put that warning on there!  Right? 

This list was also obviously written back when airlines actually served peanuts to passengers.  Nowadays we'd probably actually need the instructions, because we'd all be sitting there wondering what to do with them - you know, if the airlines actually gave us peanuts.

Now, actually having to tell someone to store an open container of liquid upright, that's a little ridiculous. Like putting warnings on mens ties not to tie them too tight to avoid strangulation.  It seems people should be able to figure these things out for themselves.
But then, maybe I give people too much credit?
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  1. Just think of the stories and law suits that are behind all those instructions!!!

  2. Have one better with the airline peanuts package... "Warning: May contain peanuts"... well I certainly hope so, if not the original label is false advertising.


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